Hey Reader,

Last week I promised to let you in on a little vulnerable secret regarding my newest offer, The Steady Speaker Intensive, that I launched this summer.

I’d spent weeks building it. Planning, researching, scripting, filming, editing, building all the content to promote it, setting up the tech behind the scenes... all the things.

The cart opened, and... crickets. Not one sign-up. As each day passed, I got more and more tense. And when the cart closed, I slumped in my chair and avoided messages from my business coach asking me how it was going.

I had a whole orchestra of tiny violins at the ready and I let them play sad lonely tunes for a full day as I wondered if I should just close up shop. I know. DRAMATIC.

But here's what I did next

I had a really good ugly cry in the shower.

And then, I decided this was a fantastic opportunity to use one small part of my own coaching method on myself.

I got out my spiral-bound, obnoxiously bright, yellow notebook, and on one page drew a line down the middle.

On the left, I wrote what I was telling myself. On the right, I wrote what I actually knew to be true. Actual fact. Not "woe-is-me" dramatic Ellie-brain 'fact'.

Something shifted. The sting went out of it. The launch stopped being a "flop" I’d file away under "Never tell anyone about this EVER" and instead turned into something I could pragmatically analyse and learn from. (FYI, it’s a big part of why the Intensive is coming back in January).

This isn’t my invention, though. Not by a long shot.

The idea of separating facts from assumptions comes from cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), developed by psychologist Aaron Beck. His model suggests it isn’t events themselves that shape how we feel, but how we interpret them. Labelling an automatic, unfiltered thought and checking the cold hard evidence for and against it is one of its core tools.

From Ancient Yoga to Modern Psychology

While this feels like a modern life hack, humans have been fighting this exact mental battle for thousands of years.

Venturing further back than Beck's work from the 1960s, we can see evidence of similar thinking in the world of yoga.

In Patanjali’s ancient Yoga Sutras, this concept of checking the cold hard evidence is called Pramana, which translates to "right knowledge" or "accurate perception." The yogis believed that mental suffering happens when we confuse Vikalpa (our mind's imagination and stories) with Pramana (verifiable reality). They taught that to find peace, we must rely strictly on Pratyaksha -direct, objective sensory observation of what is happening right now.

Facts vs stories: The Presentation Edition

So all that is well and good, but how does it help YOU?

The rule is simple. Facts are what actually happened. Stories are your brain’s interpretation of what happened, and they haven’t been fact-checked.

When something goes wrong mid-presentation and that familiar anxiety spikes, look at your situation like a detective. Only the evidence counts. Here’s what that looks like before or during a presentation:

• The story: “Everyone looks bored. I’m tanking.”​
  ​The fact: People are sitting quietly, facing forward and looking at the slides. You can’t read their minds. Quiet often means they’re focused or thinking.
• The story: “My hands are shaking. Everyone can see how terrified I am.”​
  ​The fact: My hands have a slight tremor. Research suggests we overestimate how visible our nerves are to other people, and most of the audience is looking at my face or the screen anyway.
• The story: “I forgot my next point. I’ve ruined the whole talk.”​
  ​The fact: There was a pause of a few seconds. From the audience, a short pause usually looks intentional, not a mistake.
• The story: “Why does this always happen to me? I knew my slides would freeze.”​
  ​The fact: This is a technical problem, not a human one. Almost everyone in this room has had a laptop freeze on them. I can carry on without slides for a minute.

Let me be clear about one thing here

I’m not a therapist. This is simply a technique I’ve found useful, for myself and the people I work with. If speaking anxiety is affecting your life in a big way, a qualified CBT therapist could a brilliant person to talk to and explore this in more depth with.

Try it out, and let me know if you find it helpful.

Steady together,

Ellie

P.S. This technique is something I offer in my all new Presentation Comeback Session - now finally up and running. Feel free to take a look and let me know if you have any questions.